he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
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the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
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Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
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