I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize