Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I bet he comes in French.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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