shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
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Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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