Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize