Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize