I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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