Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize