he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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