Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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