It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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