with your own penis?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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