I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Come see our sink grown plant.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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