Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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