I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize