if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize