I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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