Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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