It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
This house was built for laser tag.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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