I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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