I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
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her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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