I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Pants are for mortals
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