Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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