I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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