mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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