I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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