i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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