didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize