We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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