Ketchup is God's man juice
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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