White coat. Heels.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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