Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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