I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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