there's paper in my vomit.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize