I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize