ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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