shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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