why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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