This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
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I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
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I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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