I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Jerry, you need to find god
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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