i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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