I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize