Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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