Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
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She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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