Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
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Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
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I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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