Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
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if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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