I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
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I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize