I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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