Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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