You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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